“And now the rays of light from above united with the glory emanating from Jesus, and I saw Him disappearing, dissolving as it were in the light from Heaven, vanishing as He rose….I lost sight of His head first, then His whole person, and lastly, His feet, radiant with light disappeared in the celestial glory….” (excerpt from the Life of Jesus Christ and Biblical Revelations Vol. 4 from the visions of Venerable Anne Catherine Emmerich)
As the INTROIT and PRAYER indicated: our eyes must be on “heaven” while our feet “stand on earth”; our life must be a combination of prayer to God above and work here below.
after mass, we came home and did this craft i came up with of Jesus’ feet. those words being at the front of my mind. i had the kids add the hem of His garment because i put myself in the place of the apostles and the woman in the crowd from the Gospel, thinking that those would be the last things i’d see of His. wanting so much to reach out to touch Him one last time, yet not being able to because the power, light and beauty surrounding Him would probably be too much for my small mindedness to behold. we ended this holy thursday with blue-berry jello, the color of the sky. the whipped cream adding the affect of “clouds”. not my idea. i can’t remember where i saw it. perhaps the crafty crow.
when the paschal candle was extinguished, a gesture which seems so final, i couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness. but knowing that the coming of the Holy Spirit is just around the corner is certainly a cause for joy. it was really a beautiful, peaceful, holy day here. hope yours was too.
an open letter to my dear little boy:
today you got your first library card. you’ve been asking me for quite some time, but the requirement, for our library anyway, is that you have to be able to write your own name. now, you have been writing your first name for months, but today i just knew that since you’ve been doing so well with your letters that you’d be able to write it in full. and write you did. all capital letters excepting one. and then there was the bit of smudge your chubby hands made as they made their way across the small card. you patiently waited for it to dry. and then you were off! all of those big stuffed animals are so appealing. the computers with games for little guys like you can be such a distraction and then what with it being craft day- i sort of picked all the books for you. i am kind of selfish that way. but i did try to pick ones that we’d both enjoy. anyway, you were such a dear, helping me to scan the.thirty-something.books. we brought home. and so appreciative too, wanting to see your card on about ten different occasions during the drive home. please excuse me if i am a bit teary-eyed this evening. you must understand that milestones like this are not easy for your mama.
a pregnant, kneeling, veiled woman with her head bowed in prayer. that is what we see anyway. no matter which direction this rock is turned there is a figure, with a belly, that most definitely looks like Our Blessed Mother.
the day of our may crowning littlest son was doing this.
i couldn’t understand the importance of the rock collecting then. the whole affair seemed rather noisy at the time. although it kept him quiet during the rosary, so i let him be. however, later my husband would hand me one of them, as only daddies will hold such things in the pockets of their good church pants, and tell me quietly, “doesn’t this look like the Virgin Mary?” and i couldn’t agree more.
i have had several posts about Mary in my head this month. one which was especially important to me made it to paper but never to press. perhaps i might still share it. i wanted so badly to contribute to allison’s something about mary, yet, much like my little son all i have is this rock. quite insignificant to some, i am sure, but to me it is another little reminder that she, a lot like her Son, is everywhere. and i while i don’t always “see” her. i know she is there.
and taking pictures of it:
“I am submitting this photo into the www.iheartfaces.com Blurb Book photo contest. I am granting I ♥ Faces permission to use my photo in a printed version of a book for commercial use and possibly advertising of a photo book on both the Blurb and I ♥ Faces web sites.”
“Be sure to head on over to www.iheartfaces.com to check out all of the beautiful face entries this week!”)
there is a very heated game of uno going on in my room, on my bed. i was trying to peacefully embroider a doll face on the real thing. the one i will send to nicaragua for craft hope. but they (my girl and my littlest son) decided to invade my quiet. perhaps the boxes in the hallway, living room, school room and in just about every other free square inch of this house has caused them to seek refuge here. here where a nice breeze is coming in my window. and the sound of birds and the fan is almost lulling.
i wish i could say the game was peaceful. i hear the funniest, meanest things come out of my children’s mouths when they play games. “you’re going down, why dontcha’ draw 4!” “skip you, skip you again, and now we’ll change it back to me!” they are so competitive. my girl gets frustrated with her brother. “he’s such a sore loser and he hasn’t even lost yet”, she says. she doesn’t remember how she used to cry when she’d lose at monopoly. sometimes we’d just tell her she won anyway, but we all knew otherwise. that was a long time ago. three houses ago to be exact. i will so try not to be moody and pouty during this move. i vow not to make my last days at this space the place where i vent and become sad and nostalgic. if you move a lot i am sure you understand. especially if you, like me, try so hard to make every place you live in a home. not just a house. our potential new rental will be all ready when we get there. the painters are doing their thing this weekend, which in many ways is good for me because otherwise i would mull too long over colors. and besides i don’t know if i am ready to do the whole home improvement thing again so soon. after all, we have only been here 8 months.
so here is to moving. changes. finding happiness in whatever situation God, in His infinite wisdom, has placed you in. to taking the time, no matter what you are doing, to press pause. listen to the birds. to your children. enjoy a good game of uno and drink a sweet cup of tea. (i mixed 2 bags of green tea + 1 of vanilla chai. let it sit for a bit. added a bit of organic sugar and vanilla soy milk. and i liked what i tasted!) we will be having dinner with some friends, so i am signing off…….
ps. this was my saturday evening post.
in spanish the word means to hope. esperar. to wait. to hope. to wish. esperando is the word for pregnant. it was the name of the school i went to when i was a teen mother. we couldn’t have asked for better name. a school full of pregnant teenage mothers, girls, who still had hopes that we’d finish our education. waiting for our babies to be born we’d finish high school and hope to graduate. we were taught things like the benefits of breastfeeding and proper baby care along with algebra and history. but when i went home every day there was yet more hope waiting for me in the form of two very loving parents who would keep not only me, but my firstborn son, in their home, until he turned 5. that was ten long years ago. today, hope has a different meaning for me. married now, with three more children, my hopes and wishes are not the same as that young girl. my thoughts often turn now to those without hope. i have seen a lot of hopelessness and some things cannot be “cured” or changed. but there are those rare times when something can be done. however small. and this is one of those times. so for today, hope has a face. and here she is.
there is some background by the great gal who started the project here. and visit here if you’d like to join in the effort. time is running out and i’d really like to be farther along than i am, but a little prompting came yesterday in the form of a few words from my children. since we are in the midst of packing, there is nothing like a move that makes one see just how much stuff you’ve got. my daughter mentioned that she felt so bad that she has so many toys when orphan children have none. or at least very few. much less a mama to make something handmade for them. in our house the handmade things are the most valuable. the things we treasure the most. so we are taking this opportunity to offer a little bit of esperanza, where there might otherwise be none. “God takes care of the orphans, mama, doesn’t he?” asked my littlest son. yes, He does. and for this task He will use our hands and resources. maybe you could help too?
that love Me. and they that in the morning early watch for Me shall find Me. ~Prov. viii:17
and find Him i did. i found Him in my blooming squash and tomatillo. in the tiny jalepeno blooms and in the rapidly growing morning glories. the little one snoring by my side. the singing birds and gloomy sky. and i so want to find Him in this newest chapter of our lives. another move. more packing. tiredness and stress. a new adventure my husband calls it. men are so funny that way. the verse from proverbs is one of my favorites. it is part of my morning prayers. i have to get ready for a field trip right now. it is with the middles and their charter school classmates. i do love a good trip to the museum. but today i’d rather be packing. isn’t that terrible? well, i’ll leave you with another prayer because i know you found Him too, but just in case you didn’t…….
give ear O Lord to my words, My King & My God. to Thee i will pray, O Lord, in the morning, Thou shalt hear my voice. in the morning i will stand before Thee, and will look up to Thee. O come, let us prostrate ourselves before God, and adore Him; let us implore Him Who made us; for He is the Lord our God, and we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. the Lord is good to those who hope in Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. O Lord, have mercy on us; for we have waited for Thee; be Thou our arm in the morning and our salvation in the time of trouble.